Liberation At Last!
When I was growing up, I was definitely not allowed to have a myspace, which was the cool internet page that all my friends had while I typed away on my AOL instant messenger. Thank you Mom and Dad for making that call for me, seriously.
At age sixteen and after begging my parents to please let me get one, I finally became an online version of myself. With Facebook came Instagram and yes, if you scroll all the to the bottom, you will find my awkward teenage self plastered with filters every other post. Short hair, way too into snowboarding, it's a time capsule that I never intentionally sought it out to be but I am honestly grateful for it's collection. It's like scrolling through the self journey I embarked on even when I did not realize that I didn't quite know myself yet.
About a year ago I began to really monitor my Facebook presence and outreach; I set up as many security features as I could so that you had to be my friend to see photos and posts. Eventually that turned into me removing all personal contact information for anyone to see and finally to the changing of my display name in the hopes of making me even less identifiable. Why? Jobs, exes, family members that didn't know how to check on me with words but instead just stalked my life through the internet, and being "looked into" by anyone that I didn't know - I wanted to force people to find a different way to contact me if it was important enough.
The longer that I kept Facebook, the more that I realized how ignorant and wasteful it had become. So many unintelligent opinions being shared, people reposting videos and memes instead of photos of their dog or life, and finally the last straw was that every time I scrolled through, it was the same shit over and over again. No one had original things to share and I became desensitized to the social issues we're facing as a society, the idiot of a president that we have, even the mass murders taking place across the nation. We talk a lot of talk in this nation but the majority of folks do it from behind a screen still.
So that was it, after a couple scrolls through it one morning and being left with the only though of "what did I just look at", I googled how to delete the account. And yes, I didn't just deactivate it, it's fully deleted, and I'm patiently waiting out the next 14 days until it is truly gone forever. Do I miss it yet? No, surprisingly, I mean it was something that I was checking every day, multiple times a day and so therefore I figured that I would have a bigger feeling of regret (like I did with Snapchat 4 months ago) however this one has been effortless. After deleting the app from my phone, I have not even though about it. AND IT IS AMAZING.
I didn't realize that something so simply like this would prove to give me the "change" I was looking for; I want to refocus my energy on finding deeper understanding in my presence as well as being fully present for my partner so that I can continue to learn from love, and lastly because I think that as humans, it is healthy for us to consistently seek change.
Lastly, I deleted it with little warning and also mid conversation with a handful of folks but not even this fact put any regret into my decision. I am actually looking forward to having email pen-pals! So basically what I am saying is that it is possible to delete Facebook and still be apart of society!