Today marks my tenth day of refraining from posting content on Instagram; I took a break, I uninstalled the app, and tried my hand at practicing self control in not looking at it through a web browser. Unsuccessful. Within three days, I needed to get in contact with two individuals and my only choice was the platform. Redownloaded it....
Within these past ten days, four of them were without cell service (thank you Taylor and Brendan for the wedding weekend in the mountains) and no real desire to be on the application or my phone in general. I kept my camera by my side and forgot about the phone, what a dangerously intoxicating feeling that was.
I could feel Her; in the cool blades of grass, in the lake's reflection, in the cushioned air of the dense Carolina forests, I was drunk on whiskey and whispers.
My head straightened out, I found ideas and inspiration from the depths of my mind that I did not know were swimming there, waiting to come to the surface. I was reminded of the podcast that encouraged lost individuals to participate in a twenty-minute exercise, writing over and over again the answer to one question: what is my purpose. It's my dog, it's my camera. My passion are my purpose.
This life, it's far too vast to dedicated yourself to anything but yourself; we live a life carried down by the weight of unknowing direction, we burden ourselves with doubt and disappointment while hardly listening to the parts of us that scream "here is your success!"
Self Care Tips that I took away from my break, that I am still taking away from my break:
1) don't scroll through your IG public page; if you absolutely need to, limit it to one scroll per week. You drive yourself insane with the subconscious comparisons that are filtering into your perception and it causes you to measure your worth in a manner that does matter.
2) unfollow the accounts that don't make you a better person, a better thinker, a better dreamer. You need a daily dose of reality but take the time to care about what energy you are trying to attract.
3) don't photograph with the back-of-the-mind thought of which one will make it to the instagram page; take the photograph because you want to.
4) carry a disposable camera with you; give yourself the challenge of choosing, of waiting, of being patient for that one shot, even if it doesn't come out perfect.
5) stay present. forget the phone, pack the camera (unless your phone is your camera, in the case, switch it to airplane mode) and stop only for the moments that you experience first, photograph second.